it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize