David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
