My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You did what with his pubic hair?
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