My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You made out with two different species that night
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
