I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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