You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
