I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My ATM looks so different sober.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
