Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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