I think I died a long time ago.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
