whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I see more hoeing in ur future
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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