Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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