phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize