If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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