This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
