Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
