Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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