Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im holly from the hills drunk
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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