I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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