Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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