I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
