he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just want to make out with him forever
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
