32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.