So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet