things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.