Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared

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  (202): I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared http://tfl.nu/a5x9
  Replies (29) Good night (1004) Bad night (1417)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  just blow him with soup in your mouth.

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  (440): eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :( (1-440): just blow him with soup in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/7jjb
  Replies (13) Good night (3114) Bad night (599)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date

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  (413): He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date http://tfl.nu/21qw
  Replies (58) Good night (1142) Bad night (5653)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."

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  (719): Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.." http://tfl.nu/gg20
  Replies (17) Good night (3230) Bad night (636)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.

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  (317): eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped. http://tfl.nu/504u
  Replies (65) Good night (6852) Bad night (1556)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?

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  (864): I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me? http://tfl.nu/6foj
  Replies (4) Good night (4436) Bad night (895)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.

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  (860): Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water. http://tfl.nu/9vgl
  Replies (6) Good night (4417) Bad night (963)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am

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  (325): The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am http://tfl.nu/kqzx
  Replies (11) Good night (1128) Bad night (2920)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo

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  (703): The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo http://tfl.nu/6q1j
  Replies (6) Good night (1234) Bad night (2346)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.

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  (480): Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed. http://tfl.nu/mw5c
  Replies (2) Good night (844) Bad night (1765)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation

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  (541): I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation http://tfl.nu/pywb
  Replies (7) Good night (2055) Bad night (753)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wish they made people sized litter boxes.

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  (519): I wish they made people sized litter boxes. http://tfl.nu/qgr4
  Replies (11) Good night (631) Bad night (1504)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband

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  (512): ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband http://tfl.nu/p8hd
  Replies (4) Good night (496) Bad night (1814)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.

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  (724): He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot. http://tfl.nu/rv64
  Replies (2) Good night (796) Bad night (1062)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"

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  (620): Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner" http://tfl.nu/uhkx
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (169)

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