you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i now understand why vodka
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
