I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
