So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
