hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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