Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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