Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
