(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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