I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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