her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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