so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
