he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
