There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
