The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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