Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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