Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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