I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize