And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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