so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
