eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
