So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
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Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
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I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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