can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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