I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize