To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
