a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
