dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
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My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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