Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize