We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
