i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
