Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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