And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
As shirtless as possible
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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