oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my shit smells like andre
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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