Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The power of my boobs compel you
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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