YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
sex in a hospital.. check
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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