don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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