there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
