dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
