this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
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apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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