Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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