There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
