Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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