Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Randomize
