Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
